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Our close companions for more than 20 years, who has overcome several obstacles, and I respect her for that. Yet, she's repeatedly blindsided by people. Her husband ended their marriage, which came as a huge shock. A lot of close acquaintances drifted away during that time, because they seemed focused solely on her husband. She was stunned by her. She put in increased attention in our friendship, probably grasped more clearly the meaning of companionship.

Ongoing Issues of Disappearance

Throughout this period, quite a few close to her have drifted apart and she isn't knowing the cause. The company she worked for turned on her, even though she had been highly competent, she departed unaware of what had changed.

Present Situation

Lately, we've both retired and are seeing time together, however, I feel my position in the relationship feels one-sided. I open subjects and she changes conversation onto her own topics. In terms of politics, she expresses strong opinions. I try to recommend verifying facts and different perspectives.

She has been planning a vacation to a nation I know well on several occasions and resided in previously. My intention was to share advice, however, my input met with resistance. She essentially just desired me to confirm her decisions. I've just ended a month there she is eager to meet, however, I hesitate.

Weighing the Options

I hesitate to be a friend who abandons suddenly abruptly, however, I feel she will ever understand the effect of how she acts on my confidence. At this point, I find myself in avoidance mode. What's the best step?

Potential Solutions

You could walk away, yet this is rarely the peaceful resolution we imagine. However, addressing it aiming for a solution requires bravery and willingness for each of you.

Professional advice indicates trying a useful conflict resolution tool:

"Step one involves describing how things go in your conversations. It should be objective and clear like exactly what occurs. Next is to tell how this affects you emotionally. Ideally, there's no dispute about this. Your feelings are your feelings, after all. Finally is to ask ways you together will alter the interaction in your relationship."

Consider that she also has a point of view, thus requiring you to be prepared to hear that. An approach that works is telling her:

"Now you talk and I'm going to listen without interrupting for a set time."

It's remarkably successful to encourage better communication.

Closing Considerations

This person could ignore your concerns, as some people have a “survival narrative”: they rely on a story regarding their experiences they're unable to let go of since their identity relies on it and it's all familiar to them. This poses a challenge when there seems no easy route in such cases, only cul-de-sacs. Yet she could initially present like this before reflecting about what you've said. If a resolution isn't found a resolution, you'll have closure that you've been truthful.