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This period marks a ten-year milestone since the term “disappearing” entered the public consciousness. Back then, the concept that someone could abruptly cease communication with a partner without a word seemed like the height of disrespect. We were so innocent. In the 10 years since, seeking a significant other has only become more bewildering – an oftentimes pointless exercise in humiliation that is increasingly shaped by online slang.

Zoomers, a cohort who matured during a loneliness crisis, a male identity crisis, and a coordinated assault on the freedoms of females and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a significantly more chaotic terrain than their millennial elders could ever imagine. And so their dating glossary has grown more elaborate and more bizarre, with phrases like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” testing the limits of your sanity.

Below is a extensive guide to the words this generation is using to talk about love, intimacy and the quest of both. To paraphrase one of the year’s most enduring memes, by the end of this list you’ll yearn to get back to a bygone era – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Genuineness – For gen Z, dating’s ideal is presenting as your true, raw self. Good luck with that!

The Letter B

Bird theory – A online phenomenon loosely based on a test developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and observe whether your date's response is engaged or dismissive. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Black cat girlfriend – Gen Z’s answer to the “manic pixie dream girl” trope of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend prioritizes herself while exuding enigma and self-sufficiency. (She may yet have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Chair theory – This means choosing someone who supports you unprompted. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a seat for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A outing where two people form a link while doing chores, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how financially strained people in their 20s do budget-friendly dating in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Emotional spiral – Having a breakdown when you feel burdened by life. You can crash out over a crush or split, spilling all of your (unrequited) feelings.

The Letter D

Dink – Double income, no kids. Once a signifier of 80s yuppie affluence, it refers to partners who forgo parenthood to focus on their own happiness. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Vulnerable signaling – The antithesis of playing it cool: utilizing communication, transparency and openness.

F

Flags

• Red flags – Behavioral traits suggesting a potential partner is trouble. Such as calling their former partners unstable, subpar tipping habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Good indicators – These traits validate your choice to pursue a mate. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, low screen time, having a proper bed …
• Beige flags – These typically describe niche, largely inoffensive quirks. Examples include being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still keeping a biro in their bag, paying the rent in cash …

Freak matching – When you find someone who’s just as passionate about films about the second world war or physical media hoarding or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who loathes the same things or people that you do (few things builds intimacy faster than having a common enemy).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A band a typical Zoomer guy listens to.

Ghostlighting – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a period of disappearing.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is affable, accommodating and devoted. The uncommon partner who is beloved by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's foil.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online subculture of men so fixated with masturbation that they attempt marathon sessions, deliberately postponing orgasm so they can persist as long as possible.

H

Pessimistic straight dating – A trend describing many women’s increasing despair toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Manosphere archetype – An ideal promoted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and happily home-oriented, who apparently has no aspirations of her own aside from pleasing her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Turn-offs – Random and frequently trivial dealbreakers that instantly extinguish any sense of interest.

“He would if he cared" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else get an incredibly thoughtful display.

The Letter J

Careers – These have not been this important in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ideal partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd seek out partners in sectors they see as being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: healthcare workers, educators or counselors.

The Letter K

Making out – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has been around for 16m years. But the era of kissing may be numbered since some gen Z prefer fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic intimacy authentic.

Enhanced profile crafting – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {